The Many Ways of Birthdays
Traditions and Rituals
I was born and raised in Chennai, a coastal city in South East India, in a very traditional family. We did not have TV until we were 14 and other than the BBC World Service and a bunch of Enid Blyton and Nancy Drew books that sounded fantastical, we were largely untouched by western influences until the late 1980s.
My birthdays were always celebrated in a traditional way. That was nice because I was able to celebrate twice – once on the lunar calendar based on the original lunar month and birth star in a Hindu calendar and once in the Western calendar 9th January (Yes it is today! Happy Birthday to me!).
I got to put on a new dress, my Granny would make payasam, an Indian pudding (whatever I asked for the previous night), I would be blessed by everyone in the family (we were a joint family – so uncles, aunts, cousins) and my Dad would give me a small extra allowance which I would cherish and save so I could buy stationery. (You can take the girl out of the stationery shop, but…). We never got presents - we always get money usually in a brown envelope. Or on a plate of thamboolam - which is betel leaves, banana, with vermillion.
If the English birthday (ie, the one on the western calendar) happens to fall on a school day – I would be allowed to ditch the uniform and wear my new dress to school and I was expected to take a bag of sweets into school for the children and teachers.
First birthdays are celebrated with ceremonies, prayers, a big feast and the entire clan turning up. Here is an invitation from 1972 inviting our family and extended family to my first birthday celebrations.
My nephews who are of dual heritage, have a bit of both worlds. We travelled to India and celebrated their first lunar birthdays in the traditional way with invitation and all. And they got their cake and party here in the UK with friends and family in the UK.
That's the cake with my nephew's favourite car in the world - Lightning McQueen
For a long time I always wanted to write about this - because this is something I talk about in schools during assembly and fascinates the children. I wanted to do a picture book - but couldn’t get it to work. And then when I started writing Nikhil & Jay chapter books, I was able to explore it.
Of course then when we made the TV show, we had to do an episode on Star Birthday too - if you’ve read the story in the book and watched the TV show - you will see that it is quite different and of course both mediums explore the same idea differently. Many viewers have reached out to say that they were so delighted to see this represented on screen - and who knows maybe one day I will do a star birthday picture book. It is still on the cards and almost four years on, I’m hopefully a different writer from before and know how to do it.
Here is a glimpse into the TV episode - which you can also watch on CBeebies here if you subscribe to the BBC iPlayer. If not, here is a clip!
So what are the different ways you celebrate your birthdays? Even as grown-ups we have varied types of rituals, don’t we? Share with me!